It’s been some time since I’ve shared some private stuff about my life. However I believe this one must be written — perhaps not for you, however positively for “future” me.
This yr, my daughter competed in her second Jiu-Jitsu match — the Pan Asians. She deliberate on reducing down the variety of competitions that she’ll be becoming a member of this yr. Whatever the variety of occasions she’s competed, it’s at all times nonetheless so surreal watching her step onto the mats with a quiet confidence, realizing how a lot she’s grown not simply as a younger athlete, however as an individual.
What individuals don’t see is the prep that occurs earlier than these jiffy of combating. This was her second competitors of the yr, and like most issues in life, it didn’t come straightforward. There have been weeks of coaching, lengthy hours of drilling, weight coaching, some tears, just a few “Can we skip coaching at the moment?” moments — and a variety of emotional negotiation (from each of us!).
And let’s be actual: she’s at that age. The one the place girlhood slowly begins to shift. In the future she’s this bubbly little child laughing on the mats, the following, she’s moody, questioning every part, uncertain about how she feels. Pre-teens are such a difficult in-between house — they’re discovering their id, turning into extra conscious of their our bodies, and attempting to know the place they slot in socially, emotionally, and sure, even athletically.
I’ll admit, there have been moments we weren’t certain if she’d nonetheless wish to compete. And even proceed coaching.
It’s onerous for youths this age to remain dedicated to one thing — and truthfully, who can blame them? They’re juggling a lot: college work, friendships, random hobbies they wish to attempt, and simply the straightforward need to play. Sticking with a sport — particularly one as mentally and bodily demanding as Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu — requires extra than simply expertise. It calls for behavior, self-discipline, and grit.
And that’s the place the problem (and wonder) of parenting kicks in.
As a mother or father, I need her to take pleasure in being a child. I need her to have enjoyable, be foolish, discover what she loves. However I additionally wish to information her — to assist her learn to decide to one thing, learn how to present up even on the onerous days, learn how to belief within the course of.
So we discuss loads about priorities. About making house for relaxation, but in addition making time to arrange. About how self-discipline doesn’t imply giving up what you take pleasure in, however doing the issues you already know are good for you — even when it’s onerous. About how constructing a behavior now’s much less about being excellent and extra about being constant.
It’s a fragile dance: letting go when wanted, stepping in when essential.
And each time I see her stroll off the mats — win or lose — with that blend of reduction, satisfaction, and “Can we eat now?” power, I do know we’re doing okay. Not excellent, however okay.
This journey isn’t simply shaping her. It’s shaping me, too.
