November 2, 2025 | 6:00am
Or maybe we can give you just a bit more time. Say you find out that you have two months left to live. Before you start planning, let this possibility sink in. How do you feel? Now, what are you going to do with the time remaining? Pause for a bit before proceeding…
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This is basically the plot of the Korean film Life is Beautiful (watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBBED-vOd1E). A housewife and mother of two is diagnosed with an aggressive kind of lung cancer that will take her life in two months. Spoiler alert: To her husband’s chagrin, she spends the first few days after receiving the news looking for the boy she first loved.
If you knew you were going to die soon, would you wallow in regret, in what-ifs and could-have-beens? The problem with dreaming about TOTGA (“The One That Got Away”) is that it can blind us to the quiet miracles of love that stayed, grew, and endured. TOTGA can keep us from seeing the dreams that did come true.
Appreciating “The Ones That Remained” is one of the gifts that death brings. If our time on earth were unlimited, we would probably take everything for granted. People would always be here anyway. But knowing that there will be a goodbye can help us savor the time we have been given with them and say what we need to before it’s too late.
If you knew you were going to die in two months, how would you spend the time you have left?
A number of people I asked this question to had a very practical first answer: Prepare a living will and make sure my family knows how I want to approach death, whether I want extraordinary measures to keep me alive and whether I want to be resuscitated or not. Specifying this will spare your loved ones not just anxiety and guilt, but the burden of guessing your wishes in moments of crisis. (If you want to know more about advance directives, this may help: https://www.philstar.com/lifestyle/health-and-family/2010/11/02/625884/why-you-need-living-will)
I then expected exciting items to tick off on a bucket list: Visit an exotic country or do something you were always curious about—like riding a hot air balloon, skydiving, or skydiving from a hot air balloon. But what I heard were: Thank the people who made me the person I am, make amends with the people I have hurt or been hurt by, and finally, spend time with family—eating everyday fare, telling stories we’ve all heard before, and just being together.
This reminded me that it’s the simple things that we will miss. When we meet our Lord and Maker, God will not ask us how many countries we visited or what awards we received. He will simply ask: “When I was hungry, did you give me something to eat? When I was thirsty, did you give me something to drink?” It’s the simple things that really matter.
There is an old French proverb which, in English, goes, “The dead go to their graves clutched in their hands only…” What do you think? Ponder this for a while before scrolling down…
“The dead go to their graves clutched in their hands only that which they have given away.” My first year high school teacher, Dr. Onofre Pagsanghan, has penned a beautiful Filipino version: “Ang mga namatay, tumutungo sa kanilang hukay, tangan-tangan lang sa kanilang mga kamay, ang kanilang ipinamigay.” What we have given to others is what we will bring with us to heaven.
And lest this reflection lead you down a dark and depressing path, our Gospel today (John 6:37-40) assures us that there will be a heaven: “This is the will of the one who sent me, that I should not lose anything of what he gave me, but that I should raise it on the last day. For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who sees the Son and believes in him may have eternal life.” What is given to Jesus will never be lost—just as what we give to others in love will never be lost.
Your prayer assignment this week:
In the Spiritual Exercises, St. Ignatius of Loyola suggests imagining yourself about to die or about to meet God. What would you want to be able to say then?
He proposes this not to be morbid, but to help us discern what truly matters. How you want to end should shape what you do and why you do it.
Maybe, before we kick the bucket, we should make a different kind of list—a “Bakit?” list. A bucket list asks what you want to do before you die; a “Bakit?” list asks why you live at all. The first is about doing; the second, about meaning. May our inevitable deaths teach us to live with clearer purpose.
